Death

—in the voice of Marie Lafarge [1]

I want to kill the bluebirds nestled
beneath the underbrush, their breathy bleats
giving away their home.
Mama has been
rubbing lotions on Papa’s fevered forehead
for days now      —       his hand blown off
in a hunting accident,    infection spreading
up his arm, his neck a network of wreckage.
I imagine it
green as tourmaline, sour as milk
turned. Mama hasn’t eaten in days,
and I sneak all the sweets I want.             We are
buying time with ice bathes and bartered prayers.

I cry in his closet as he sleeps, the itch
of his wool coat on my cheek, tobacco
scent stitched into the pockets where he keeps
silver coins to fidget with.
“Marie,” he calls out,
and I stumble over his shoes.
The bluebird of his darting voice.
“You disappoint me.
I would have thought you able to handle this.”

[1] Marie Lafarge was a French woman accused of poisoning her husband Charles by lacing his fruitcake with arsenic after he conned her into marriage under the false pretense of being a millionaire. She was the first person to be convicted of murder using forensic toxicological evidence in 1840.

Emily Paige Wilson is the author of the chapbook I’ll Build Us a Home (Finishing Line Press, 2018). Her poetry has been nominated for Best New Poets, Best of the Net, and the Pushcart Prize. Her work can be found in The Adroit Journal, Hayden’s Ferry Review, PANK, and Thrush, among others. She lives in Wilmington, NC, where she received her MFA from UNCW. Visit her at www.emilypaigewilson.com and @Emmy_Golightly.